The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize