Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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