I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
