I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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