I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
