This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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