We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
