the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
