He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
