we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize