Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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