I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Someone stole a lamp last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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