just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
