he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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