P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
