Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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