eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
