winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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