i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
