Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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