Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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