Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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