why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize