Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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