Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
