I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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