its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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