Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize