I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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