Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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