what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
