you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
