And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
