Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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