Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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