In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
