1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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