living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
