I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
