just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
