last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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