what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
