yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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