I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
