let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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