I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
