he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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