She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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