im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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