Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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