i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
