We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
