Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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