when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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