Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize