He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
