you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
