White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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