Whoa Z and x make the same sound
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
