It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
