sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
