Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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