You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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